i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
