wanna go halves on a baby?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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