Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
