have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just cut my nipple shaving
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
