The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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