Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
