if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
