Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
