white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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