Your tits are I can't wait for
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
