So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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