Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
NoShamevember. You game?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
