well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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