the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
