I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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