Apparently you make a good broom.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
