You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
