How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
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on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
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Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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