Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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