So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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