What a fucking waste of an outfit
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
