I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
