I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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