it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
