What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
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He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
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You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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