glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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