Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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