HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
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I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
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He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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