thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
