My first STD was from a foam party
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
