Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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