the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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