i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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