yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
