i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
