He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
