Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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