Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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