If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
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You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
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i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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