I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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