Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
