I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
