I showed him my bush... on skype.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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