Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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