So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
