U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i love accidental penises.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Randomize
