Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My ATM looks so different sober.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
