He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
