Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
