i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
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It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize