we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
