You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
