I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
