ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
