I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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