Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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