no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
