he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
