I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
