My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize