Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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