woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
